a little family tragedy

so i don't believe in all that friday the 13th crap --- but maybe i should.

last night my cat was not back in the house when Scott and I finally went to bed - so we left the doggy door open so she could come back in.

I woke up at 3am because the puppy was whining and needed to be let out (he sleeps in a playpen in my room) - I still didn't see my cat. I called her name out the back and out the front -in case she was out there. no reply - i figured maybe she was just sleeping in the carriage house since our old couch is back there.

fast forward to the morning - scott had just left to go get his kids and all of a sudden he comes back up into the room and tells me

"I found Mello"

me: "Is she alive?"

the question was rhetorical - the answer was supposed to be yes i found her _________ (fill in blank with some dumb place a cat might be-like behind my dryer or something)

but the answer was a look and "no"

apparently she was hit by a car. I didn't see her myself. Only scott did. Sadly i did see the spot in the road later- she was actually run over not just hit.

Scott spent about 3 hours digging through hard clay dirt and burying my cat. Everytime i would go out he had tears in his eyes.

Harder then my cat getting hit was having to tell my kids. All 3 of them were here and I started to tell them and all i could do was cry. My ten year old looked at me as if she knew something was really wrong - and i can't imagine what was going through her mind in that moment before i managed to mumble the cat's name.

christmas video

so here is a part of the Christmas festivities - including the part where I swapped Callie's stuff into Caillou's stocking and vice versa. It was a little confusing but they figured it out.

Jolly Old St. Nick

The past few days I have been theorizing about Santa.  He has been around with one name or another since the 17th Century.  But really we all only know the same basic story.  Santa has elves that makes toys and he delivers them to all the good little boys and girls for Christmas.

So this premise brings me to many questions about this Santa Claus guy.

How does he do this?  Ok, ok we all know he has a sleigh and magic reindeer that fly and pull him and the sleight behind him.  This just brings more questions. If we assume the reindeer and sleigh to be true- how does he fit all those toys into it? I know, I know -it's magic. So is the whole thing powered by magic? What about reindeer poop? I mean lots of kids leave reindeer snacks and even if they didn't why have there never been any reported sightings of reindeer poop?  Next is the idea that if you have a chimney then Santa comes down it which is why it is so important to put the fire out so you don't burn Santa's ass.  What about home alarms? Many homes have sensors that can tell when people are walking around- why doesn't he set off the alarm?   

My next questions is about the presents themselves.  Santa used to bring wooden toys and the such that I would completely believe were homemade.  But really now a days, kids get electronics like iPods and Nintendo Wii's. If the elves are making these- isn't this some type of copyright infringement? Same thing with the Bob the Builder Toys and Etch-A-Sketches.   

All these questions lead me to one simple answer- Santa is a MOB BOSS - you know like the GodFather.

The elves, of which there would have to millions, are just his goons.  They work for him- but it is all under the counter. So you know there is no health insurance, no 401(k), no worker's comp, no benefits other then the on going protection of Santa.  I believe the elves actually just go out and steal the toys.  From retail outlets like Wal-Mart, Toys R Us, etc and also directly from the manufacturer.  (which is guess really is the Chinese and the other Asians and Indians that actually make the toys). 

It was suggested to me that maybe Santa just ordered from Amazon and paid for the presents. NO WAY. Have you ever gotten a package delivered on Christmas? Plus then Santa wouldn't have to deliver the toys himself- he would just get the free delivery with minimum purchase. DUH.  This also assumes Santa is a TRILLIONAIRE.  That can't be right either.  If Santa was a trillionaire - he would have given up this gig years ago when the naughty list almost as long as the nice list. 

He's a Mob Boss.  But he is an anti-establishment Mob Boss. Kinda like Robin Hood, except his merry men are overworked elves sent out to steal for their room and board.  Maybe you could say he is doing a good thing, with helping the vertically challenged and sure to be discriminated against elves and then by giving good little boys and girls toys, but Santa is just the Wolf in a fuzzy red suit with a fat belly.

So yep, My theory is Santa is a Mob Boss. Just don't tell your kids that because you will end up with a horse head in your bed on Christmas morning because that is how Mob Bosses (even Santa) roll.

* up next time- Why Santa is probably a polygamist and why PETA isn't Anti-Santa.